Nothing
threatens our lovely marriages like infidelity, yet most people think they are
smart enough or become so insensitive to trail that part. In my opinion all
women are the same - it is just a question of 'biological sedimentation'. It
isn't wise to marry someone you are not attracted to in the first place. Just
make sure you enjoy and celebrate what you have. Love isn't a feeling or an
emotion. It is a decision.
Some married people in Abuja NAN
below...
Respondents in separate
interviews also mentioned the desire to satisfy emotional needs as another
contributory factor. Mr Johnson Eze, a civil servant, said he was cheating on
his wife not because he loved her less but for the sole purpose of “catching
some fun’’.
“My marriage is one of
the best because my wife, who is God-given, is an understanding woman and she
tolerates me a lot. Yet, I still find myself cheating on her just for the fun
of it. This does not in any way diminish the love I have for her and my lovely
kids. I recall an incident that happened some time ago. I told my wife that I
was travelling to Calabar for an official assignment, but ended up with my
girlfriend in a hotel, and she found out. The incident almost destroyed my home
but thanks to God my wife was able to forgive and forget put the ugly incident
behind, ‘’ he said.
Eze, who described infidelity as 'a careless act,’ advised
men to desist from it.
A female boutique operator, who pleaded anonymity, said the
desire to keep up with the latest fashion trend made her to cheat on her
husband. According to her, the husband, a low income earner, was financially
incapable of meeting her insatiable material needs.
“Besides, my hubby and I
fight over things that are not relevant and I lie to him most times to raise
extra cash to buy something, which he considers unnecessary. I have not been
faithful in my marriage because of the temptation to stay on top of the fashion
trend which is way beyond the financial capacity of my husband. Besides the
extra cash my boyfriend gives me, whenever I want to collect money from my
husband for food stuff and other basic necessities I always double the cost.
This has become a habit for me and whenever I don’t get my share in any
shopping I do on behalf of the family, I get angry and pick on my husband at
any little provocation, ‘’ she added.
A legal practitioner who offered a coined name – Mr Kosi
Chiemela – blamed his adulterous actions on lack of intimacy, emotional
disconnection and lack of friendship with his wife. Chiemela who described
marriage as “one difficult school you cannot graduate from till you die,’’
stated that the only way to escape was to stay single.
“I am a temperamental
person and when I newly got married, it was not easy for my wife whose temper
is also short. “Both of us hardly agree on anything and the only escape route
for me is to seek love and affection elsewhere. “My girlfriend understands me
and she tolerates a lot, unlike my wife who blows up like a bomb at the
slightest provocation,’’ he said.
Report by NAN
*******************************************************
Love is understood, in a historical way, as one of the great human
vocations - but its counterspell has always been infidelity. This terrible,
terrible betrayal that can tear apart not only another person, not only
oneself, but whole families. - Junot Diaz.
If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with
language, which is already a form of break up and infidelity.
- Jean
Baudrillard
I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has
caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. -
Tiger
Woods
Infidelity raises profound questions about intimacy. - Junot Diaz
In a way, fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage
or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards
succumb. - Miroslav Volf
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