Couples all over the world will claim they are “taking it slow” but what
does this really even mean? Does it mean the same thing to the both of them?
Where do the physical boundaries start and end? Does “taking it slow” mean only
kissing? And what kind of kissing? Kissing standing up is totally different and
not nearly as stimulating as kissing each other while lying on the couch. Continue...
I think when many people today discuss protecting one’s purity, they
confuse “purity” with “virginity.” The value is placed on whether or not one is
a virgin, not if they have compromised any other part of their body or mind to
maintain their virginity.
As a result, in many cases, one is technically physically still a virgin,
but has compromised their body, mind, and heart to maintain their physical
virginity. Consequently, failing to protect their purity. There is much more to
living purely than abstaining from sexual intercourse. Purity is a life style.
It is an everyday mode of being. Purity is not a choice. It is an instruction
from God.
God created sex as something good. Genesis says He created it for us to
enjoy and to reproduce, “to be fruitful and multiply.” This is why He has given
us body parts that were specifically made for sexual pleasure and baby making.
However, God reserved sexual intimacy for the marriage relationship, and it is
approved and blessed by God only in this context. Sexual activity represents a
deep and powerful level of intimacy and vulnerability. By God’s intention, the
only relationship God designed to thrive on and sustain this level of intimacy,
is a godly, devoted marriage between man and woman, husband and wife.
"We must be pure. I do not speak merely of the purity of the senses.
We must observe great purity in our will, in our intentions, in all our
actions." - St. Peter Julian Eymard.
"Purity is the fruit of prayer." - Blessed Mother Teresa.
"Purity prepares the soul for love, and love confirms the soul in
purity." - John Henry Cardinal Newman.
All physical intimacy between man and woman was created by God. Physical
intimacy (holding hands, touching, sex, etc) is natural. Of course, it feels
good. It is natural for a man and woman to want to further explore the
nakedness of one another. It is natural to be stimulated or aroused by the sights,
sounds, touch, or even smells of one another. I believe this is why it is so
hard to live purely, because it is a constant fight against our flesh, of what
is natural. However, we have to remember that purity is a sacred gift from God.
“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new
person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift
from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And has given us this
task of reconcilingpeople to him.” (2 Corinthians 5:17-18)
When we surrender our hearts to Jesus we share in his glory with a
renewed knowledge of God, a transformed way of thinking and behaving that
begins to reflect God’s purity, His holiness, His spiritual wholeness.
So, what is the truth about sex and purity? God created sex; therefore,
it is natural, but God gifted purity. Therefore, it is supernatural. The only
reason we are called virgins is because we have not had sex, thus we have not
progressed in the natural timeline of humanity. The only reason we call ourselves
pure is because God called us pure. The definition of purity is to be
morally clean without blemish. The only way we are morally clean without
blemish is because of the blood of Jesus. Through Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on
the Cross He calls us pure. Impurity is something that is unacceptable to God.
Therefore, by logic, purity could be defined as something is acceptable to God.
So then, are you pure if you have never had sex? Not if you’ve been
cheating the system in other ways. If purity was only based on sex, then after
I got married I would no longer have to strive for a life of purity. Sexual abstinence is good, but your purity is NOT defined by your
abstinence. It goes all the way back to the heart of the matter. Before you
were kissing, before you were holding hands, before you were flirting – What
were your intentions? What were you thinking about? What was your flesh saying?
What were your desires?
I never understood the value of my purity until I freely gave it away.
I compromised my body, my mind, and heart because I was more concerned
about how it felt and what my boyfriend at the time would think of me if I said
no. I always grew up with the desire that I would wait until my wedding night
to have sex. After college, I started dating a man in my church. We never
really discussed boundaries…I mean, why would we? He was a Christian. I was a
Christian. No worries there, right? (Newsflash: Christians aren’t immune to
temptation!) Discussing physical boundaries never took place until the heat
of the moment when we potentially crossed lines. The temptation to further
explore one another’s bodies was constant and the pressure was great.
In my mind, I always thought I would never do more than kissing before
marriage. Just like all temptations, when we flirt with it for so long, it is
only a matter of time before you do something you never thought you would do. I
let him touch me in places that belonged to my husband. Lies of the Enemy
bombarded my mind. I became more concerned with the question, “How far is
too far?” rather than understanding what God meant by purity. We Christians
love the already defeated game of, “How much can I get away with and still
be a Christian?”
"I was alone, ashamed and had no one to talk to. I was so confused
because I still had my virginity. I grew up in the church and so many of the
teachings on purity was about being a virgin for your husband. So, why was I so
consumed with the shame and disappointment as if I had had sex? Even though I
maintained my virginity, I gave away my purity. It was clear to me that my
actions in that moment were not acceptable to God’s standards. When I
chose to be impure, I butchered the gift of purity in which Jesus died for. I
realized that if I did not value my purity, a gift God gave me, then did I
really value what Jesus did for me on the Cross?"
I learned a lot about the difference between purity and virginity during
this season of my life. Purity is a way of life, and my virginity is something
I give. What mattered, was what I chose to do with what I now knew about the
value of my purity.
I wondered a lot how my future husband and I would protect our purity
before marriage, and if I really had the strength to fight it. This was when
the Lord began challenging me with the idea to not kiss my boyfriend until he
was committed to me enough to be my husband.
My first response to the Lord was, “Absolutely not. What kind of man
would even want to be with me once I told him we cannot kiss?”
Then God said to me, “Danielle, are you willing? Are you willing to do
whatever it takes to protect your purity, the purity of your future husband,
and your purity as one?”
So I chose to take a huge leap of faith – I decided to wait until I was
engaged to kiss my husband.(Let’s get things clear here before you go
jumping to conclusions – I’m not saying kissing is a sin or that everyone
has to wait until marriage. I’m simply telling you my story and how God chose
to challenge me to trust Him more.) I made this commitment before my
husband and I were even dating. The funny thing is that God was already dealing
with my husband about waiting to kiss his future bride. When Rony and I chose
to not kiss, God introduced us to so many new avenues of romance that I never
knew even existed. It truly awakened something special.
The choice to protect my purity, a gift that God gave me, began in my
mind and in my heart first. Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are
willing to do whatever it takes to keep us from compromising.
So, I would ask you – Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Are you
willing to destroy any DVDs, magazines, websites, etc. that keeps you tempted
to pornography and hurts your marriage, or lack there of? Are you willing to
stop talking to someone who continually causes you to lust? Are you willing to
set physical boundaries with the person you are with, even though the world
would say it is not normal?
Are you even willing to pray and listen to what God has to say to you
about it or are you too afraid to even go there with Him??
Sometimes we must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves
from falling into the sins of our biggest temptations. Purity is now!
Source: The Response Church
No comments:
Post a Comment