Marriage is Trust

One of the worst things any man or woman can do is to betray the trust that their spouse has in them.  A major platform that any marriage thrives upon is trust; in fact marriage is trust. We trust that person enough to say that we want to spend the rest of our lives with him/her; marriage all begins with the trust that we have for that person; that is what makes us confident in the life long journey we embark on. I always like to say that a marriage without trust is a marriage that is doomed. Continue...

Trust is so vital that when it is broken, it has the power to tear a home apart for good, except for the help of God. When trust is violated everything about the one who has been hurt becomes damaged, that is we must not be careless about the trust we share in our marriages.  

A few important points to note about trust is that:

1. It is a growing force – It is built over time. The trust you have for your spouse grew from the day you met them until the day you said “I do”. And it is expected to keep growing even in the marriage. As higher dimension of challenges may come in the marriage, you must be able to trust that your spouse will stand by you.

2. Trust means protection and you must protect that trust with all that you are – It means that despite the shortcomings and weaknesses of your spouse, they will protect you and keep private matters, private. It means that whatever mistakes you may have made, remains with them and vice versa. It also means that you will not be found using any information you have to attack each other.  There are things that you know about your spouse or things that they tell you that must of necessity, remain in your heart.

3. Trust cannot thrive without openness.  If you or your spouse are prone to playing hide and seek games, there will be little to no trust. Transparency is the name of the game in marriage; that is a major ingredient for the trust to thrive.

4. Trust is built on proofs – It must be proven. It is based on dependable and predictable behaviour. It is being able to rely on a person and on their character that they have proven over time.  Your yes must be your yes and your no, your no. You must be where you say you will be and you must be found doing what you said you will do. You must prove yourself trustworthy.

5. Trust is enhanced by measurably change or growth – If you have broken the trust for any reason, there must be a change for the trust to be restored. If your spouse does not see change, it becomes difficult for their trust in you to be restored. They must be able to see that you are doing your best to ‘right the wrongs’ that you may have caused. It must be evident that you are taking steps to rebuild the trust in your marriage.

It’s important to note that in any Christian marriage, trust cannot be built or maintained without God’s help. Therefore if you are the one who has broken the trust or the one who has been hurt by your spouse, you must be willing to give God room to do the rebuilding and restoring of the home, while you play your part. Whatever you do, remember that a marriage without trust is doomed, and marriage is trust! Marriage is a spiritual house and it cannot flourish in the energy of the flesh therefore rely on God’s spirit to revive your testimony (Zechariah 4:8). Go through the Word of God, and seek godly counsel if necessary, and God will take your marriage and family back to His intentions, from the beginning.

Source: CPYF