‘Each man must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians
5:33
The Bible says, ‘Male and
female He created them’ (Genesis 1:27 NIV 2011 Edition). God created women to
be more than a slightly altered version of men. Adam was all male; Eve was all
female - as different from each other as day is from night. They thought, felt,
talked, and acted differently. Their priorities differed. They needed different
things from each other. And just as getting along under the same roof was essential for them then - it is for us now. And it calls for things like understanding, patience, unselfishness, mutual effort, and showing grace.
Following Paul’s philosophy is
fundamental to a happy marriage - the husband must understand that his wife
needs his love, and the wife must understand that her husband needs her
respect. Dr Emerson Eggerichs reminds us that men and women speak different
relationship languages, based on their differing needs. Yes, both need love and
respect, but husbands feel loved when they’re given their wife’s unconditional
respect, and wives feel respected when they’re given their husband’s
unconditional love. Notice that Paul’s words are not simply wise words of
counsel, but divine orders to be observed and obeyed. The husband ‘must love
his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband’. God
doesn’t require him to earn her respect, or her to deserve his love. Jesus, our
role model, respected and loved us unconditionally at the cost of His life. And
He calls us to do the same for each other. As the author of marriage, God knows
what really works; so follow His guidance at home.
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