Can you imagine the courage and integrity it took for Nathan the prophet to challenge King David about his affair with Bathsheba? Most of us tend to avoid confrontation because we fear being disliked and rejected. But when you avoid confrontation it often makes things worse. By hiding his sin, David was robbing himself of the blessing of the Lord. Looking back, he wrote, ‘If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my…prayer’ (Psalm 66:18-19 NIV 1984 Edition).
The tiny growth you don’t want to deal with now can end up becoming a cancer that consumes you in the future. That’s too high a price to pay. If you love someone, you’ll take your courage in your hand and confront them in love. Confrontation is an opportunity to help develop that person - provided you do it respectfully and with their best interest at heart. Here are ten guidelines to help you confront someone in a positive way:
1) Do it ASAP.
2) Address the wrong action, not the person.
3) Address only what the person can change.
4) Give them the benefit of the doubt.
5) Be specific.
6) Avoid sarcasm.
7) Avoid saying ‘you always’ and ‘you never’ because they are not true.
8) When it’s appropriate, tell them how you feel about what was done wrong.
9) Give them a plan to fix the problem.
10) Affirm him or her as a person and as a friend.
The Bible says, ‘The LORD corrects those he loves’ (Proverbs 3:12 NCV). So if you love someone, you’ll confront them in the right way.
Deut 32-34, Mark 15:25-47
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