Why My Marriage Didn't Last - Actress Chika Ike

Top Nollywood actress and entrepreneur, Chika Ike, has opened up on her failed marriage. 

In an interview with The Nation, when asked if getting married at a young age had anything to do with the way it ended three years ago, she said:

"I think it has to do with so many reasons; one of them might be being young. Some people get married that young and have been able to make their marriages work. But if you’re young, you’re young.

"There are some things you’ve not experienced. You might not be able to stay calm when you’re supposed to stay calm, understand when you’re supposed to understand or leave what you’re supposed to leave.

"I think it has to do with age and so many other things like compatibility and not being true to yourself in the marriage. Everybody has a limit. There are some things in marriage that you might not be able to stand. Some people’s limit might not be my limit; my limit might be somebody’s starting point."

On rumours she is planning to walk down the aisle again, she said:

"Marriage is a beautiful institution. I will never talk down on marriage because it’s something I still look forward to. It’s what every woman hopes for. Though I’m focused on my career right now, I do have a very special person in my life."

In 2013, she explained one of the reasons why she filed for divorce. Her husband, known as Mr Eberibi physically assaulted her for years. One of the many fights resulted in a miscarriage. Read Chika Ike’s Heartbreaking story;

The past three years has been a very emotional period for me, I focused my energy on work and to build back my self esteem.

It’s been really hard for me to come out straight and talk about this because sometimes, I pinch myself to wake up and not believe that I was a victim of domestic violence. I’ve been through a lot in my life, faced a lot of challenges but this is one topic I’ve tried so hard to avoid and have been waiting for the right time but I have come to a resolve that there’s really no right time because every second of the day, lives are being lost due to domestic violence.

I was a victim of domestic violence in my marriage and that was the singular reason I left my marriage, aside other reasons.

Growing up as a girl, I was always known as the sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have been through some relationships and for once no man had ever laid a finger on me. The first time it happened in my marriage I didn’t understand it because I am not the type of woman a man beats but I guess there are no types.

It just happens and no woman deserves it. As a young girl I thought it was love or his way of expressing his emotions, after every beating he pleads , cries and says it won’t happen again, once again I thought it was love and made excuses for him.

Over the years when it kept happening consistently, I started looking for other definitions for it. I started loosing my self pride, self esteem, self worth, and most painfully I lost a pregnancy (Miscarriage). I almost lost my life in the process then I realised how serious and abnormal it really was.

I have heard and read a lot of accusations from ignorant people who don’t know my story, I guess that’s why they are ignorant. I was 20 yrs old and very naive to the world when I got married . “They said I married for money” LOL. I was married to a corporate guy, who had a 9 to 5 job in a bank, lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment at Egbe.

So do the math! I married for love. I did a traditional wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So that’s how much I wanted to be married forever. For five years I hoped, prayed & wished that one day it will all change. But the last straw that broke the carmel’s back was during a heated argument he threw a glass jug to my face and I dogged it and it shattered on d wall.

I saw death flash before me and I made a decision to save my life. I left my marriage.

I am not saying this to draw pity from anyone because we are entitled to our opinions and believes.I am not also saying this to discourage people from falling in love because it’s a beautiful feeling and I still believe in it.

I am saying this to educate, share and talk about my experience as a victim of domestic violence because it is real.