‘I rejected my husband’s love advances until his eighth attempt’

Dr (Mrs) Bolanle Oyerinde, a lecturer and Assistant Dean, Students’ Care Services at the Adeleke University, Ede, Osun State speaks with Toluwani Olamitoke on marriage in a recent interview. Read the interview below after the cut.and she will tell you she was brought up in a home where  children were not only loved but had a say.

Can you give us insight into your family background?

My parents are Elder Enoch  Olaleye Dare and Mrs Sabainah Abike Dare. My father is a retired school principal and my mum, a retired midwife and owner of Anu-Olu Specialist Hospital in Ede, Osun State. My parents are godly couple. They live what they preach. I grew up in a loving Christian home with my five siblings and many relatives.

In choosing your life partner, as a young lady ripe for marriage, what was your first priority, looks or qualities?

Qualities of course.

How did you meet your spouse?

We met at our church’s youth camp in August 1982. He asked me out seven times and I said no. He asked me out the eighth time, it was about to rain and he told me he was not going to take a ‘no’ for an answer. I said ‘yes’ the eighth time.

Can you introduce  him?

He’s Elder Dapo Oyerinde, my best friend. He is an architect by training and in recent years has been in public service. He was member, Caretaker Committee in Egbeda Local Government in Oyo State in the last administration. He is the most intelligent person I know personally.

Men have different ways of proposing, can you tell us how he proposed to you?

After we had been courting for five years, he sent me a beautiful engagement ring in the mail. We got married a year later.

How long did it take you to say yes?

I said’ yes’ immediately after I received the engagement ring in the mail. I had no doubts that he was God’s choice for me.

Some couples call each other by their pet names. Do you?

Yes. We call ourselves ‘Honey’.

What do you consider the advantages of this practice?

I believe it fosters intimacy and prevents undue familiarity that might make spouses take each other for granted. It’s endearing for couples to call each other pet names, I think.

These days marriages are contracted on the online platform (especially Facebook). What’s your take on it?

I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it. I mean the online platform could be a good place to meet someone. But after the initial meeting, the courtship ought to proceed normally as if they met any where else. This is where they would now meet and interact in person and with each other’s family, friends and colleagues. The anonymity of the internet will now give way to allow proper observation of each other’s character and personality in the real world.

What do you and your spouse have in common and where do you differ?

Our philosophy of life is very similar, that is loving and helping people in tangible ways. One of his favourite sayings in this regard is “He who would do good, will do it in minute particulars.” Again, we share the same view on our approach to parenting while our religious beliefs are also the same. Overall, I’m more conservative and he’s more liberal. I’m organised and I plan ahead, my husband is more spontaneous and very adventurous!

What marital policies have you employed to make your marriage successful in the area of  finance and responsibilities in the home?

Well, in the area of finances, we’ve always kept a joint family budget in the almost 27 years of our marriage. There have been times when he handled the finances and there have been times when I handled it.  Concerning the domestic responsibilities, I’ve been the cook, cleaner, and house keeper. My husband is Mr. Fix it, we never have to call anyone to come and fix anything. He’s been a wonderful dad. He changed diapers and fed the kids when they were young. Both of us are professionals and we’ve both always worked.

Source: Here