Some of us think so little of ourselves that we’d rather be in a bad relationship than none at all. Being around people doesn’t guarantee you won’t feel lonely. Actually, being with the wrong people guarantees you’ll end up feeling empty and used. Until you overcome your fear of being alone and wait for God to give you the right relationships, you’ll continue to feel lonely. Sometimes loneliness is more about not liking yourself than about not having people around who like you. Otherwise, why would you spend so much energy avoiding rejection instead of building healthy relationships? Perhaps you think if you don’t get involved you won’t get hurt. Or you’re afraid to open up in case people criticise you for sharing anything personal. Such anxieties just contribute to your sense of isolation. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar said, ‘What you picture in your mind, your mind will go to work to accomplish. When you change your pictures, you automatically change your performance.’ So:
1) You need a true picture of how God sees you. Paul says, ‘Because of what Christ has done we have become gifts…God…delights in’ (Ephesians 1:11 TLB).
Zephaniah writes, ‘He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love.’
2) You need a true picture of yourself. David said, ‘You…put me together inside my mother’s body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvellous!’ (Psalm 139:13-14 CEV).
Having these two pictures clearly in mind stops you from operating with a devalued self-image, and enables you to ask for what you need in a relationship.
Jer 1-2, 1 Thess 4
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