- If your husband is clearly an unbeliever, then I believe 1 Peter 3:1-6 applies.
- If your husband professes to believe, but is consistently living in disobedience and refusing to repent then Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Corinthians 5 would apply.
Because your husband has professed faith at some point in
time, I would suggest that Matthew 18:15-20
should be your starting point, your first course of action. This assumes that
you are a part of a Bible-believing, Bible-practicing church. If not, I would
make joining a sound church a priority.
Many disobedient spouses will protest if you seek to enlist
outside help. They often protest that your marriage problems are your own,
personal, family business, and thus they are not to be shared outside the
family. Initially, sin should be addressed as privately as possible, so that
reconciliation can most easily take place, with the fewest number of people
knowing of the sin (see Matthew 18:15). But if
this effort fails, then efforts to confront and restore a person must become
more public. Ultimately, if the wayward individual refuses to repent altogether
then he or she must be treated as an unbeliever. In effect this warns the
wayward one of the possibility of divine discipline and harsh consequences,
including Satan’s destructive involvement (see 1
Corinthians 5:5; 1 Timothy 1:20). In the
end it removes the rebellious sinner from church fellowship, thus protecting
the church from unhealthy influences. The goal of this discipline process is
not only to protect the church, but also to turn the sinner from sin and bring
them back into fellowship with the Lord and His church. If your husband is
placed under discipline by the church, then you, like others, must regard him
as though he were an unbeliever.
I would then call your attention to 1 Peter 3:1-6 and 1
Corinthians 7:13-16, which gives the believer some good instructions
regarding their marriage to an unbeliever. In 1 Corinthians the believing
spouse is encouraged not to divorce (though there are exceptional instances
where this would be permissible – Matthew 5:31-32;
19:9) and to remain in the marriage as long as the unbeliever is willing to
do so. If the unbeliever chooses to leave the marriage, then the believer is
not to resist this, but to let the unbeliever depart.
Finally, I would call your attention to two additional
texts, Philippians 2 and 1 Samuel 25. In Philippians
2 you find a clear definition of submission. Submission is not “doing
whatever you are told,” but giving up your personal interests in order to
pursue the best interests of another. This is what our Lord did when He obeyed
the Father by coming to earth and dying on the cross of Calvary .
1 Samuel 25 is an example of
true humility, although it does not look like submission at first glance.
Clearly Abigail did not do what her husband Nabal wanted. But Abigail did put
herself at considerable risk by going out to meet David (who intended to kill
members of Nabal’s household), and by asking that David take out his anger on
her. She sacrificed her own interests (her own well-being) in order to seek the
protection of her husband (and his male servants). My point here is that true
submission subordinates one’s self-interest to the best interests of others.
Submission, in your case, includes the subordination of your own interests to
the well-being of your husband. I would contend the initiating church
discipline (Matthew 18:15-20) is seeking your
husband’s best interests, but it may well have some negative repercussions for
you.
If your husband were guilty of physical abuse to your
children I would seriously consider calling the civil authorities (after having
first consulted the church regarding this matter). I am convinced that God will
not use your obedience to Him in a way that is harmful to your children. You
will have to act in faith and trust God on this one.
I know it is easy to give advice when it is directed to
others, but these are the biblical texts which I believe are relevant to your
circumstances.
Source: Bible.org
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